Prompt: The first men/women to set foot on Mars return to their ship only to find a large, strange insect on the door of the ship.

“Welcoming, the first people back from Mars!”

Applause ensues.

A man and a woman step out of the ship.

“Thank you, thank you. It’s been an honor. The journey was treacherous, but successful. Mars has now been explored by the naked eyes of mankind!”

Cheers rise up.

“Thank you.”

The doors of the spaceship slammed shut and revealed a huge picture of a strange bug.

Beneath the bug said:


Replay Video

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I’m going to do it.

I’ve got a big post brewing. I swear, it’s taking me a lot of guts of write it out. But for now, I’ll just say that writing this may cause me huge amounts of harassment. Not for offending a lot of people and being a bitchy asshole, but for offend one person who can be a bitchy asshole.

It’s gonna be big. SO I really need support. If that person comes screaming “fuck you” at me, I’ll need a couple human shields. Jk (on the human shield part. Not on the big post thing). So, truth be told, I don’t even know if this is actually happening or not.

It was all just speculation actually.

I can’t believe you fell for that.


365 Day Challenge, Invent the Flangiprop, 2/1/14

Prompt: Invent a definition for the word “flangiprop,” then use the word in a post.

Flangiprop n. 1. A prop used to flang people.

For definition of flang, flip to the end of the universe. No this is not a reference to anything.

I flang people all the time. Don’t you? I mean like, you’re walking down the street and when suddenly, BAM, you just flanged someone nearby. Well, maybe they flanged you first and you just flanged back.  It’s great that we all have natural built in flangers, but sometimes, when you get in an accident and your precious flanger gets chopped off, well, then it’s time for you to strap on that flangiprop onto your poor stump.

The flangiprop is amazing. While, my flanger did not get chopped off, I still use it just to extend my flanger. This way, I would be able to do a super enthusiastic flang and people will know my enthusiasm. Which should be good. Right?

Of coruse, not all flanging is good. We’ve got to keep that in mind, which is why the flangiprop has a built in button to harder or soften the flangiprop to your needs. If you ever need to flang someone for a bad reason, you’ve got a nice harder than a regular flanger item to flang them with. Perfect for the flangers in need.

I suppose I’ll give you what I think flang means, because to be honest, I don’t even know.

Flang v. 1. To wave; 2. To smack someone

Flangiprops are available here for $9.99. In fact, we’re going to send one to you for free. That’s a ten dollar offer for two full sized flangers.

So what are you waiting for?