That God-Awful feeling

You know that feeling? Yes that one where you don’t feel productive at all? That you know you really should be doing something, but when you finally sit down to do it, you get all fidgety and push it all off to tomorrow?

Well I got that right now and it is the worst.

I get it at least once every year and when it happens, it ends up lasting for forever. I still can’t find a cause for it, just like I still can’t find one for my sleep problems. Maybe it’s connected to my lack of sleep, because just a few days before, when I was completely well rested, I was completely fine.

I hate it so much. And I’ve also given up on prompts now. Prompts make my head hurt.

A Sorry Apology?

So after being leaving for vacation for 5 days and being devoid of wifi in that time period, I, of course, arrive home swamped with 200 some college emails asking if this is me, 100 some notifications of all sorts and a couple of other scattered emails. Oh, and one pathetic view on my blog.

Well, I wasn’t asking for any anyways, since I’ve got maybe less than a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of tenth of the amount of people on WordPress following my blog. (By the way, I must make it clear that I actually prefer having less followers, because then I don’t have to deal with criticism. And apparently I don’t take that very well…)

But one view was still very pathetic.

And now here I was rushing back to the computer, slightly lacking in sleep because I wasted some of my sleep time trying to think of a proper apology for my puny audience for not being around and not telling anyone about it.

Yes. I’m feeling a little stupid right now.

But it doesn’t matter. Because I’ve realized a little something.

There’s this snazzy thing called a queue (which I, uh, don’t know how to pronounce exactly) that allows you to write posts in advance and then auto-publishes it as a set time. Oh my god! Amazing, right?

That’s not my point.

Actually, I’d like to say that I hate using the queue. I absolutely positively hate hate hate using it. It’s like a locked door to a room that’s been constructed and furnished. Except even though it’s ready for viewing, we’re just going to keep it locked until a later time. And while the viewer doesn’t know about it, it bothers me so much. I get so jumpy and twitchy and hyper for no reason. It’s like all of a sudden, if I don’t publish this post right now, I’m gonna be shunned forever.

But probably a bigger problem with the queue is the fact that it encourages slacking. And for someone who claims (or at least sometimes wishes to be) a full time couch potato, encouraging slacking isĀ not the best idea.

So here I go, rambling on and on again. But you get the point. I don’t like queues. And yes, the title seems to have nothing to do with the post. Maybe.