Frozen: Chapter 30-35

So, turns out Nat magically controls her magic. OOOOOOH, MAGIC! She still thinks she can only cause pain because of the whole “Fire and pain. Rage and ruin.” thing. She decides that she’ll push Wes away because keeping him will be too dangerous.

We all know in the end that always fails and tends to cause even more problems.

Daran’s out of control and he wants to shoot one of the refugees on board, who happens to also be marked. Wes threatens him, but it’s not enough and he shoots at the girl anyways. The girl uses her magical powers and send Daran off the ship. Or maybe Nat. Nat can’t tell whether she did it or the girl.

Helpful.

The girl’s name is Liannan of the White Mountains. That name would have worked had this been a high fantasy, but it’s not, so it sounds out of place and stupid. Wes wants to save Daran even though the jerkass betrayed him and is about to be killed by some drakon.

Wes, you are an idiot.

Why risk your life for an uncontrollable maniac in the case where you’ll more than likely be killed? What makes this seem like a good idea other than “integrity”? Nothing.

So they try anyway, Shakes gets swept into the sea and is kind of drowning. Nat gets angsty and starts praying because she’s magical and then the girl tells the drakon to stop. And then…………………………………………………….

I have no clue what the fuck happens. Nat gets… sick and confused? And then… they’re saving Shakes as if that wasn’t their original goal?

But the girl turns out to be a slyph (aka elf) and an obvious lame-o Galadriel replica – blond hair, radiating whiteness (like she glows white light), and a general air of wisdom. But this book makes everything suck, so she’s more corny than intelligent.

Daran’s dead and his brother gets so upset and violent that the crew has to tie him to a pole. The slyph and Nat talk, and she confirms that the Blue exists. In fact, the drakon protects is and she calls it home. Way to kill the suspense.

Farouk is afraid of them literally like their a plague. Liannan tells him she’s not infectious – he can’t be turned into a sylph. But… I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you want to be turned into a sylph? The girl is described as beautiful. In fact, she’s super sexy. Why dafuq wouldn’t you want to become like that? Plus she’s magical! This fear makes no sense.

There’s a lot of ridiculous padding and what the fuck moments. Liannan is ridiculously creepy and knows everyone’s names. Thankfully, the scene breaks with Wes breaking the truth to her – no wind and no food.

They still look for Daran, though he’s obviously dead. Then, we find out that the children were actually smallmen (aka dwarves). Brendon and Roark are their names.

Surprise! They have horrible pasts! They ran away because their colony was dying of the Rot which was the sickness that was changing marked ones into zombies. They were fine until they hit a trashberg (where were their fucking eyes?) and their ship started taking in water. Then starvation, death, etc. etc.

Whatever.

There are 5 more ships of people and the dwarf is stupid enough to ask for them to help. Wes agrees, because he’s Mr. Softy.

There’s a burial for the dead. WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU BURY PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN? UP YOUR BUTTS? At the end of if, Nat asks to move from the captain’s quarters back to the crew cabin as the first step to pushing away from Wes. Right. Why were we doing this again?

She immediately regrets moving back, because the beds suck.

The next morning everyone finds out that Farouk untied Zedric from the pole and escapes in a lifeboat. They take all the supplies as well and probably are planning to go back to the RSA

What the fuck are they thinking? You think the government is going to forgive you so easily after you break a shitload of laws and then run back to them crying mama? They’re going to shoot your balls off first and then screw you over. These boys have no fucking logic in their brains. I am so done with this book.

Guess what? Days after Nat sights a fish does she actually think of the possibility that they still are alive. Apparently Daran and Zedric figured that out earlier and were secretly indulging themselves in fish.

Do these people have like walnuts for brains? I guess all the smart people are dead now.

They spend a day doing anti-climatic fishing. We find out that the world is starting to unfreeze and magical clean water is popping out of nowhere.

They eat fish for dinner. Shakes and Liannan seem to be getting it on with each other… because… ??? The two dwarves aren’t brothers, they’re gay lovers.

Nat turns to glance at Wes, but find that he’s not there.

Unsubtle foreshadowing.

So nothing actually happens from this whole ordeal, because they actually get rid of their shitty crew members, find a food source and get a better crew out of if. Brendon’s a better navigator because he manages to fix the compass which goes haywire near trashbergs.

No comment about inaccuracies dealing with compasses.

Brendon manages to guide them through the trashbergs. Though I don’t quite understand, the whole reason they were in a dilemma was because their ship hit one and took some water. Now he’s just magically good at navigating?

As the days pass, Shakes and Liannan are really falling for each other. I, am really wtfing so hard. Wes “knows” that Nat isn’t interested in him. Right. Since she’s actually done nothing to show that other than moving back to the crew room, which is shit nothing as proof that she doesn’t like him.

But they still have intimate conversations, so what the hell?

This time, they talk about Wes’s sister, who supposedly died in a mysterious house fire, but the thing was, there was no body so she’s still alive. Nat goes all “fire and pain” again.

… Is this hinting at the fact that Nat might be his sister? Or that she killed his sister? Honestly though, I couldn’t give a shit anymore. Nat’s about to confess something to Wes, but it’s interrupted by ship sightings.

PIRATES! FUCK YES! FINALLY SOMETHING!

The pirate’s name is Jolly Roger Stevens. Talk about being original. I guess he has two ships? Because both ships are supposedly his and they’re fighting each other. That’s stupid as fuck.

“Slavers rob each other all the time; it’s easier than roaming the sea for pilgrims,” Wes explained.

Fuck you. Yeah, sure they do that, but they don’t fucking rob themselves. It’s like saying “Oh, I need ten more bucks! Why don’t I steal ten bucks from my own fucking wallet!”

You don’t end up with anymore money than you started with, dumbass.

Conveniently, they come to a truce the moment they sight Wes’s ship. They even fucking shake hands. OH MY GAWD. PLEASE SOMEONE. SHOOT ME NOW. SAVE ME FROM THIS MISERY. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. FUUUUUUU

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