Frozen: Prologue

To start with, I just want to state that I did not have high hopes for this book from the start. I received an ARC version of it from Net Galley, but I also stumbled upon it at Barnes & Noble and unfortunately, I found praise of this book from James Dashner (author of Maze Runner). For those who haven’t read my review of The Maze Runner, you should, because really, my hatred towards Dashner can only be accurately portrayed there.

So seeing that Mr. James Dashner liked this book was not very encouraging.

***

The book starts out with our prologue, which is, very obnoxiously, in all italics.

Now, let me explain.

I can deal with a page or so of italics because the point of writing something in italics is to convey a short ominous scene that leaves the reader hanging. But this prologue is too long. 5 whole pages of italics is excessive.

We start with the assumedly main character locked up, alone for being “what she was”. People are coming for her and her mind scolds her about waiting. Except, that voice is describe excessively in a corny melodramatic voice that you know is suppose to make you shiver, but just doesn’t and thus ruins the entire ITALICS AND OMINOUS thing.

The melodrama continues as the word density for “fire” goes from once every 1000 words to 1 every 5 words. 

The fire that raged within her. The fire that destroyed and consumed. The fire that would destroy and consume her if she let it.

Her destiny. A destiny of rage and ruin.

Fire and pain.

Okay. Tell me first. Where does her destiny come into play with this randomly mentioned rage fire? Also, for the sake of everyone, please, do not over dramatize everything. There is absolutely no reason for those unnecessary fragments.

I feel like La Cruz just decided to draw a chart with “fire”, “pain”, “ruin” and “destroy and consumed”  and then randomly picked two and made sentences out of them. Because that’s what it feels like.

Then we’re told that the voice in her head is the reason why her eye colors aren’t normal. And that she has tiger eyes with golden pupils.

Wait. Like, what? Do you even understand the purpose of a pupil? A pupil is a fucking hole in your eye that lets in light so that it can reflect in the thingy on in the back of your eye. THAT’S WHY IT’S BLACK. THAT’S WHY NO HEALTHY PERSON HAS PUPILS OF ANY COLOR OTHER THAN BLACK. YOU CANNOT JUST COLOR A PUPIL JUST BECAUSE. IF HER PUPILS ARE GOLDEN, THEN SHE IS FUCKING BLIND. BLINDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Also, saying that having voices in your head is the reason why your eyes are discolored is like saying you fell off your bike and scraped your knee because your cousin, who lives across the country peed in a forest.

More melodrama about a mark on her chest. A whole paragraph wasted to “I have a birthmark and golden eyes and I’m being arrested for that.”

Even more melodrama. The girl snaggling about how she doesn’t want to be a monster. But bitch, you’re not doing a single shit about it, so maybe you should shut up and actually do something for once.

She gives in to the voice, which is basically admitting that she’s a monster, but anyway. We learn about “the Blue” (ohcrap, Maze Runner flashback, not happy with this name) and how the world has frozen over except there.

The whoever people who are coming for her take forever to arrive. And when they finally do, we learn that she could’ve escaped the WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME, because apparently, she can fly.

Also her power’s awakening and more sudden increases of word density. 

She was dead either way. Fire and pain. Rage and ruin.

Ok. We get the point. Stop repeating yourself. It makes you sound sadistic. 

Then she jumps into the void.

The end of our very shitty over dramatic prologue that I have spent way too much time on.

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5 thoughts on “Frozen: Prologue

  1. I’ve never even read this book but your review was damn hilarious. The golden pupils thing was particularly egregious. If there’s more of these I’ll definitely be tuning in 😉

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