Frozen: Chapter 1

We start in a typical Las Vegas casino – sparkly, drunk and lots of gambling. We’re introduced to Nat, who doesn’t have a name until impulse told her that her name was Nat because “it seemed to fit”.

Right. Next thing you know, we’ll have kids calling themselves “cheese” because it “feels right”.

She’s magically (and conveniently) good at numbers and cards, which gets her a job in a casino. In Las Vegas. So far, our character has not had a very hard time with anything has she? And then, we’re told that this Nat is the same girl who flew out of that window in the prologue. Which just proved the whole ITALICS AND OMINOUS!!!!!! SCARYY!!!!! thing invalid once again.

You know what? There really was no point in that prologue.

The whole point of a prologue is to convey an idea or concept that either can’t be easily conveyed within the story or should be known by the reader before the characters do. Usually, the prologue is not connected to the first chapter at all, and even if it is, there’s usually a major PoV switch or something similar. Why? Because the prologue is suppose to be separate. In this case, we have a prologue that has 1. no major time skip, 2. no PoV switch, 3. no information that the characters can’t know.

Just, you know, fucking fire and pain. 

In any case, Nat has a flashback to that night. She lands in the snow, manages to disarm all the guards around her and steals a heat jacket from one of them. All without any trouble. There’s not even a mention of getting bruised. And then she gets… contact lenses to hide her weird golden pupil eyes.

You know, you can hide your irises maybe, but those pupils are going to give you away.

Okay. Am I the only one who finds this whole thing a little too easy? No wanted posters? Masses of guards streaming out of the building to go search for her? No helicopters with searchlights pruning the city? They’re just going to be like “lol, monster on the run, let’s go smoke pot instead”?

Oh, and she also gets nightmares about fucking fire and pain. Not that we don’t already know that.

But back to present now.

There’s a fifteen year old bride who she’s dealing cards to, which either means society is really messed up or this is one of those lame books where everyone is a teen because adults don’t exist outside of guards and evil people. I like the second one better.

All of a sudden there’s an explosion and it manages to kill everyone at her table, but her because magical physics. It’s too early in the book to make this conclusion, but Nat is really starting to feel like a Mary Sue. Chaos ensues and you notice one of the guys get arrested for having blue eyes because “his lenses must have slipped off or he’d taken them off when they burned from the smoke”.

Except for fuck you book because CONTACT LENSES DON’T JUST FALL OUT OF PEOPLE’S EYES DO YOU UNDERSTAND? THAT WOULD DEFEAT THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF CONTACT LENSES BECAUSE IF THEY JUST PLOPPED OUT OF PEOPLE’S EYES NO ONE WOULD USE THEM. Also, who the hell has the energy to take off contact lenses moments after a bomb detonates right beside them? Like, he might be dangerously rubbing his eyes, but WHO WOULD EVER BE LIKE “LOL TAKIN’ OFF MY LIFE SAVING LENSES WHEN THEY’RE ACTUALLY USEFUL”.

The guard people go ahead and eye scan everyone and the system is so easy to bypass and getting a fake ID seems so easy I wonder how many other “monsters” are also hiding within this “horrible” world and also why Nat was so hesitant of escaping earlier. The officer is, of course for some strange reason, 16. Except for, he talks like a 34 year old. SO WHY DA FUCK ISN’T HE 34? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE 16?

Nat get’s off easy, playing chill with the officer. She’s got everything, fake ID, lenses, fake papers. Everything. And it’s all mentioned in that offhand way which makes getting fake papers sound as easy as stopping by a supermarket to grab a bundle of asparagus.

Girl, where the fuck did you get all that money from? DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE FAKE IDS ARE? Also, weren’t you locked up in a jail half the time? Where did you learn about fake IDs from? HOW DID YOU FIND OUT WHERE TO GO TO GET FAKE IDS? This isn’t just a random pit stop at the local dollar store. Just. No.

Either the black market in this world is rampantly huge yet magically unnoticed by the super uptight government or she’s just magical.

Anyways, that bring chapter 1 to an end.

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2 thoughts on “Frozen: Chapter 1

    1. I wish I could tell you that I pulled all of this out of my brain from a mysterious messed up dream, but I can’t because that would be saying that this crap is of my creation, and I’d be wholly disgusted if it was.

      It’s ridiculous, the shit that gets published these days in the YA genre. Makes me really sad.

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