That’s What She Said

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Prompt: “I’d seen some big ones in my time, but this one…..this one was huge.”

“God, Lisa, you just don’t understand!” Voices echoed from the other side of the wall. Mrs. Despona was getting a little frustrated. She could hear ever single conversation those teenage girls had in that other apartment and they were always, ALWAYS, about boys. “It was huge! Like… I’ve seen big ones before, but this one… this one was ginormous! I had hardest time getting it in.”

“What was it like?” The girl, who name was supposedly Lisa asked.

“Same as always. I’d thought, you know, since it was a little bigger, it’d be different, but not really.”

“Really?” There was a giggle. “You’ll have to show me next time around then. Maybe you could come over and it’ll just be the three of us.”

“It’s not official yet. Suppose to be three more weeks before I’m allowed to see it again. I was just allowed a sneak visit the other day, that was all.”

Mrs. Despona could not believe her ears. Where they talking about… about that thing? And moving in? She couldn’t believe her ears, girls these days really didn’t understand modesty at all… She shivered at the thought of hearing them possibly go at it and suddenly, she felt completely fed up with this.

No, she just couldn’t. She had enough of this trash. She stormed out into the hallway and banged on their apartment door. Moments later, a dead skinny girl, face caked with black makeup opened up the door.

“Yes, Mrs. Despona?” She asked, quite annoyed, a small sneer on her face.

“I will not allow it anymore! If you wish to talk about the size of… of” Her face flushed red. “Of pensises at least have the courtesy to lower your voice!”

The girl rolled her eyes and smirked at her.

“Please, Mrs. Despona, you’re thinking too much. We were talking about the dog that I’m going to get from the animal shelter in three weeks. Calm down. It’s just really big and doesn’t really fit in the cage they gave it and I just wanted to get it home as soon as possible.”

Mrs. Despona froze, wordless.

This was rather embarrassing.

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12 thoughts on “That’s What She Said

  1. OOPS. That was so funny. I have had neighbors like that–never went through that scenario, though. This was very well written. Great ending. Well done. Lucy

    1. Lol. They’re the worst, especially when you’re the one thinking they’re talking about something inappropriate because then, look who’s mind is actually in the gutter? 😉

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