Brussel Sprouts and All

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Prompt: “Weird things remind me of her. Cabbage,  for instance.”

Dandy didn’t miss his girlfriend. Not a tad bit at all.

“You know, because all that she ever when on about was how good brussel sprouts were for the body and how I shouldn’t be eating that pizza when I had brussel sprouts right on the pizza.”

Of course, what he never mentioned was the fact that those brussel sprouts were fake and that they actually tasted like pepperoni.

“She only ever goes on and on about being healthy. It’s like that’s the only thing that matters to her. Not me. Not anything. Just being healthy.”

He’d walked into bars every day complaining like that. What was so great about being healthy? It was just making your body feel better while mentally living lifestyle of hell. Eating healthy was horrible. Dandy couldn’t get himself to believe in any of that bullcrap anyways. Cabbage could make you less likely to get cancer? Well, hell, he should smoke more cigarettes as well then. They were both made of plants.

“It’s so annoying now, cuz like weird things remind me of her. Like cabbage.”

He’ll just be standing in his kitchen choppin’ some salad up because his skin and bones female friend was coming over and suddenly he see his girlfriend flashing in his mind, lecturing in the usual way that she did, her head tilt slightly up, her right arm on resting on her hip and her left finger pointing accusingly at him. Of course, her words all went through one ear and out the other. The only word he ever retained was cabbage and so only the faint echo of cabbage ever flew out of her mouth in his mind.

“It’s just so annoying. Really! I think I might be scarred for life.”

She really was the type of “life-changing” girlfriend. He would never be able to eat another cabbage ever again.

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