The 5-Minute Hobbit

Makes me laugh so hard.

The Byronic Man

The second installment in the Hobbit films comes out on Friday  And maybe you’re interested in seeing it, but don’t want to commit 3+ hours to watching or re-watching the first one.  And so I provide The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: The 5-Minute Version.


SCENE 1: Bilbo Baggins’ Home

There is a knock at the door. Bilbo opens it, and outside are a bunch of dwarves clowning around; Gandalf the wizard; and a solemn, glowering dwarf, Thorin, who scowls at everyone.

Bilbo: Who are you?  What do you want?

Gandalf: You must come on an adventure with us to kill a dragon and help Thorin reclaim his place as king of the dwarves.

Thorin: I have failed and all is dark and such.  Luckily, I slayed a giant orc guy who killed my father, so he’s definitely dead.

CUT TO: drawn out scene of giant battle…

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