Frozen: Chapter 14

Going to K-Town requires passing through Los Angeles which is underwater. But, wait a moment. It only takes 4 hours to get to Los Angeles from Las Vegas and no matter how roundabout your route is and how slow, there’s no way 4 hours could get extended to 15 hours. Maybe 8 hours, maybe 10. But 15 hours? That would require going at 20 miles an hour, which might be reasonable since it’s icy and snowy out and hard to drive, but they manage to drive fast enough to outrun drones, which are flying, so there’s no way they’re going at only 20 miles an hour.

Also, Los Angeles is right at the sea. Why couldn’t they just leave there? If they’re going up North (or South) there’s definitely a more straightforward way to get there rather than drive to Los Angeles.

Oh, and it’s a truck they’re driving.

Nat gets fantasies about Wes probably for not other reason than he’s hot, he’s Mr. Special snowflake, she’s Mrs. Special Snowflake and they’re destined to be together forever and ever.

A bar get’s lodged into one of the wheels somehow and the truck’s stuck. Everyone gets out to tug the bar out while Nat stares into the distance, being all deep about snow and watching mystical polar bears.

She’s staring at it with her binoculars and somehow, the bear see her and charges at her. She stupid enough not to move, not realizing until too late that the bear was about to attack her.

Except as main character, she’s conveniently saved.

I… I’m just wordless. It’s been 3 pages into this chapter and we’ve already ran into two gaping inaccuracies. Polar bears do not just charge at you when you’re far enough that you need binoculars to seem them and it doesn’t seem like Nat walked all that close at all. Polar bears are usually hungry and will try to eat you if they are hungry, but unless you seriously provoke them, you’re not going to get randomly charged at from such a distance.

The people who shot the bear were illegal tourist hunters. Wes tell Nat she should “consider herself lucky” that she didn’t get shot by accident.

They go back to the truck and then Nat notices that one of them is staring at her.

“Wes they saw me — we should go.”

No shit Sherlock. Because they’d totally not see you the first time when they shot the bear.

The truck’s still not loose and it seems like the hunters are… coming towards them? And so Wes pulls a whole act so that the hunters think they’re also illegal hunters. And nothing happens, no not-so-friendly shove, no angry glare, no bullying from the other people. Nothing. They just walked over and then walked away. So that was just completely unnecessary.

*facedesk*

Frozen: Chapter 13

Blurgh. School has not been being nice to me. Haven’t been able to post must. Hopefully I’ll get a bunch queued this weekend.

***

There are magically intact back roads and Wes is driving through them even though he can technically see jack shit with the roads all covered in snow and also never used. So I have no clue how they’re navigating right now. Wes just somehow knows that Nat is a fake and that she’s probably a liar and a thief. But, fuck that, he’s attracted to her anyway.

He liked her, and he wanted her to like him, but only so he could use it against her later.

Okay? Don’t you like her? So why would you use it against her later? What are you trying to do? Are you still thinking about turning her in, because that’s a rather bitchy thought, not to mention turning her in would also equate to turning yourself in.

Nat offers to drive a little so that Wes can rest a little. Why aren’t the other boys driving? Where did they go off too? And how big is this tank/ship thing that the pilot area can give you complete privacy? Anyways, being the probable love interests, they converse, though the author completely fails at finding a good way to hop into the conversation, which is as important as the conversation itself. The conversation itself is somewhat decent and you learn a little more about the world.

There aren’t any deserts anymore (obviously because the world’s frozen over and nothing grows apparently) and also you need a license to have a second child, which was the cause of Wes’s sister’s tragedy meaning the government came and took her away, except for that’s not the full truth because the full truth is too much for Wes to face yet right now.

Apparently Nat’s upset that Wes looked up her past, but why wouldn’t someone wish to make sure that he wasn’t taking a suicide bomber on his tank before accepting a client?

We skip to the next day where Nat and Wes are sitting in opposite corners of the middle seat, obviously meaning that they don’t want to be near each other, but then they have a conversation again, so I don’t know what to say anymore.

I still don’t know what kind of vehicle they’re driving in and I can’t tell whether it’s because the author did a bad job of informing the reader, or I just wasn’t paying attention.

Of course, they talk about HOT people. Because that’s what HOT people do.

You also find out that everything requires a license including marriage, kissing people and having sex because diseases. Except for, does that mean that everyone has camera’s in their homes installed by the government? Because otherwise, how the hell is the government going to know if you’re having illegal sex and spreading non-existent diseases?

Also, why would the government give a shit about STDs to the extent that you’ll be arrested for copulating in private? I could understand if fucking each other is illegal in worlds like Orwell’s 1984, but if you’re only worried about STDs. that’s not enough to disallow marriage as well.

FUCK, YOU MARRY A PERSON BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE, NOT BECAUSE YOU COPULATE WELL. WTF IS WITH THIS LOGIC????

Wes starts teasing Nat because apparently she never had sex before.

She wasn’t the only one being teased about it. Farouk was giving Daran a hard time in the back.

Because apparently Daran probably has STDs from screwing too many girls without authorization. What is this world? Do you automatically get STDs if you screw someone without papers to allow it? Because I don’t believe that’s how diseases work. And what caused rampant STDs? Please don’t tell me it was because the world freezed over.

1. World freezes over.

2. ???

3. Everyone has STDs

Anyway, if you’d just make sure that the people with STDs don’t screw other people, then there’ll be no more STDs.

They drive pass scary zombies humans calls Thrillers, but nothing happens, which makes me wonder why the author bothered to even mention them. Padding? They drive just a little longer before Shakes announces some bad news.

“Bad news, boss,” Shakes said, looking up from the dashboard. “Looks like we’ve got a gas leak. Bullet must have grazed the tank.We’re not going to make it to the coast with what we’ve got left in the cans.”

God fucking dammit. Has La Cruz done ANY research AT ALL? Does she have ANY common sense? If there was a blasted hole in your gas tank, 1. you would have smelled it a LONG TIME AGO, 2. your car would’ve caught in fucking fire by now, no matter how cold it is outside, because it’s hella hot inside your car and 3. Liquid sloshes out of containers very fast, you would’ve ran out of gas only a couple hours after the leak. Of course, you’d burst into flames first and be long dead by then.

It’s obvious gaping plot holes like these that make me want to hurt something in frustration.

Of course, lack of oil = pit stop at K-Town. Sounds like a lame rip off of K-mart.

So far, their whole scary dangerous trip has been very anticlimactic.

Frozen: Chapter 11 & 12

Nat thinks that Wes is actually not such a fake anymore because OMG HE CAN SHOOT A GUN! Nat thinks about how she’s suppose to chose someone smart and she’s chosen Wes, who she thinks might ditch her. But she’s HOT, so obviously no.

They just drive out of the city because there are no fences. And no border patrol. So how the fuck are you suppose to catch escaping people? Oh right, you don’t. There’s supposedly an electric fence, but Farouk, one of the boys, disables it like it’s nothing. So yeah.

Outside the city, it’s a garbage dump, because throwing things underground isn’t a thing anymore. It’s called the Trash Pile. Ominous.

Anyway, Farouk can’t figure out the code because it’s German. Nat asks to see it and uses her magical Main Character powers to just see the code and it’s pushed off simply as “she’s good at math.”

Fuck, that’s the shittiest characterization ever.

All of a sudden Nat goes all “I know you, but I can’t remember.” at Wes because her memory is mysteriously gone, but you don’t know why. Like we care.

And then, turns out they’re still being chased because the government just spends all their time sending full forces after not very important outlaws. Like, WHY? JUST WHY? Maybe this for Nat, but a regular outlaw team or teenagers does not require hounds and drones and fucking tanks. That’s like trying to make a baby shut up threatening him with a knife. 1. The baby has no idea what that means. 2. That’s just excessive.

The boys start getting second thoughts on this. They don’t want to die, which once again disproves that they could have possibly ever been the top mercenary team, but they go on anyway, because there would be no book if they didn’t.

Later that day, it’s just Nat and Wes, and Nat stares at Wes, noticing how HOT he is. Again. This is, what? The third time we’ve been told this?

He’s handsome and brave, and any girl with a pulse would be attracted to him, she thought, but he’s nothing to me, a flirtation, maybe, someone to pass the time with, to make the trip more interesting.

What is up with that grammar? It’s like the author threw her thoughts into a washing machine and regurgitated that nonsensical crap. Also, are you saying that Nat doesn’t have a pulse then? Or that she isn’t a girl?

Anyway, they see something in the distance. The government seemed to have given up pretty quickly and are gone already, but they’re passing by a hospital to treat marked ones. So they plan on pretending to be a patrol.

As they’re driving near someone comes by. But dies. And Nat feels guilty because that dead stranger outside is “”her friend” not safe in a tank.

But you don’t know them. THEY AREN’T YOUR FRIENDS. STRANGERS ARE NOT FRIENDS. HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD YET?

Frozen: Chapter 8 – 10

So, realizing that there’s a shitload of chapters in this book and I really should get to finishing this book since it is an ARC copy and Netgalley wants feedback from me ASAP, I’m gonna start knocking out more chapters a day.

***

Wes goes “oh shit, are you serious?” because it turns out Nat’s the girl. They worry if she had been setting them up the whole time, but obviously not because she doesn’t even know who they are.

“She’s not marked, is she?” Zedric asked. “You know we don’t mess with ice trash.”

Right, because people are just going to flaunt their marks like it’s totally not going to get them arrested and probably also killed. Also, is this some common thing? Because no normal person is going to be like “oh, lady’s leaving a casino, is she an evil monster?”

They joke that Nat probably wants to find the Blue, and then Wes thinks about his horrible past with a girl who wanted to find the blue (Why is it a girl again? Do only girls have the sense to find a better world?), but he turned her down and now she’s dead. Like everyone else in his family.

Boo-hoo.

They kinda don’t want to do the job because pirates, but weren’t you planning on leaving the country anyway? Anyway, the 2000 credits holds them. And then Wes figures the whole disappearing chips thing out. Nat steals them instead and they’ve been “outplayed”.

Next chapter, Wes runs record checks on Nat even though they really couldn’t give a shit as long as she wasn’t marked. Which she is. So…

Nat lets Shakes win a few rounds the next couple days to get them food money.

Even with her being all nice and shit, they still think about turning her in, because you’ll get reward of 500 credits for do so from the government. Right, because they’ll totally give you that without noticing your shitty records. Not to mention, that’ll totally screw over your reputation as a mercenary gang. Just saying.

They’re about to blow a hole in the roof so they can steal Nat away, because secretly running away just isn’t a thing. Apparently there are cameras everywhere. So there can’t be cameras on the roof? What kind of shit logic is that?

Also…. they still plan on turning her in because 500 > 2000? I mean it’s make more sense if they’d loot her and take the 2000 from her before turning her in, thus gaining 2500, but Shakes goes all integrity and says they’re not going to do that. They say they’re not thieves yet they’re an outlaw mercenary gang.

OH MY GOD. WHAT THE FUCK. THESE PEOPLE NEED TO WAKE UP. THEY CANNOT POSSIBLY HAVE ONCE BEEN THE TOP NOTCH MERCENARY TEAM. THEY CAN’T EVEN DO FUCKING SIMPLE MATH.

Then, OMG, Nat might have the map! Because where the fuck did you hear that from, Shakes?Wes thinks on it and you learn that apples are non-existent because their genetic code got lost.

BUT APPLES GROW ON TREES. WTF HAPPENED TO THE TREES? YOU WOULD NEED TO GENETIC CODE OF A FUCKING APPLE TREE, NOT THE APPLE ITSELF. STUPID STUPID STUPID.

I HATE YOU BOOK. I HATE YOU FOR YOUR STUPIDITY.

Now they want to steal the map. Because following a request and a job is just too much. Except for that gets denied quickly and Wes holds a vote, receiving a result of following the request, which meant this entire chapter was just a waste of time.

Switching back to Nat, we find Wes stand at the door, gloating his hotness, so much that Nat wants to kiss him. And slap him for being an ass. Also, his voice is OMG SMEXY. Lame-o~

They flirt a little, because that’s what to-be love interests do and Wes is just SO HOT. But guess what? Nat is HOT TOO. And Wes just can’t stop staring at her.

And then they just leave.

And the government magically appears to chase them. Right. Because they totally do that to EVERY DAY CITIZENS.

Nat gets surprised that the boys can shoot guns and then she remembers the RSA motto “every citizen an armed citizen”. If everyone learned to shoot, I’m surprised a rebellion hasn’t broken out yet. Especially with your child troops.

Also. CHILDREN CANNOT FUCKING HANDLE GUNS BECAUSE THEY WILL SHOOT AND KILL EACH OTHER. You know why children are not suppose to handle guns? Because this. Whitley explains it better than I ever could.

Wes is shooting at the chasing… tanks? But frostblight makes him all shaky and his misses. He curses at himself and then… it’s gone? Because he focused. HE GODDAMN FOCUSED AND THAT’S HOW HE GETS RID OF FROSTBLIGHT. THAT’S CALLED NERVOUSNESS YOU PRICK.

And they get away, while the boy in the chasing tank gets out to give them the finger. So realistic.

Frozen: Chapter 7

After one whole chapter, we finally find out that, OMG NAT IS MAGICAL because she made the chips poof into her pocket, though she’s not sure how. Well, that’s convenient. She can’t use her magical powers because she doesn’t know how, except for the most convenient times, you know?

So she waits to start her shift.

At her table her predecessor, Angela, was in the middle of performing the ending ritual — clapping her hands and turning empty palms toward the ceiling to indicate to surveillance that her shift was over.

This is the weirdest sentence ever. If you only look at the first half, it almost seems to be referring to Nat’s ancestor doing some weird magical rite. Talk about word choice.

They talk a little and Angie mentions that there are supposedly new retina scans that can bypass certain lenses, but Nat is convinced that it’s just a rumor to scare people and keep them submissive. Except, the ret scans are for rooting out illegals, so that had shit nothing to do with keeping the people from rebelling.

Fridays are payday, so no one has money on Thursday, which was why there aren’t as many people here right now. Except, it doesn’t seem like anyone is working anywhere else, so where are they getting their money from? Apparently, also if you get really lucky, you’re also screwed because security will beat your ass if you’re lucky?

It hardly ever happened, and when it did, security was on the table so quickly your luck was gone before you knew it.

So basically, no one ever wins any money whatsoever because by the end of the week, they’re all as poor as fuck, yet people are still stupid enough to keep coming because…. ??? Has the cold affected people’s IQs?

She’s about to deal cards for her table when she notices that only a boy is left at her table.

Then the boy smiled, and Nat was struck by how suddenly young he looked, how innocent, even with a malevolent hissing snake on his forearm.

Right. Because little innocent children can’t be little devils in disguise. What made you the official judge of character, Nat? And who said you had to be malevolent to have a malevolent tattoo? Maybe the little innocent kid just thought it was cool. MAYBE HE’S ACTING.

He introduces himself, and lo and behold, it’s Shakes, who is, for the record, not the least bit innocent.

He handed over a worn-out food provision card, his fingers trembling a little, a telltale sign of frostblight. The human body wasn’t meant to live in subzero weather. Most people ended up with a few tremors, while the unluckiest ones lost their eyesight.

No. FUCK YOU. Of course the human body isn’t suppose to live in subzero weather, BUT NEITHER IS EVERYTHING ELSE AND THE INCLUDES PLANTS. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING YOUR FOOD FROM? IN A SOCIETY LIKE THIS, STARVING SHOULD BE A BIGGER PROBLEM THAN INEVITABLE CANCER.

And please don’t tell me synthetic food is the answer, because that’s actually probably expensive as fuck.

Not to mention, people survive entire Alaskan winters (which are fucking cold) and some are like, “Na, it’s nothing really, just dress in layers.” So far, no one has lost their eyesight yet so I have no idea what the author’s talking about.

The biggest problem though – Wes is wearing only a windbreaker (which was mentioned in like… chapter 3?). In. Fucking. Subzero. Temperatures. He should have gotten frost bite and died a lonngggg time ago.

We find out that Wes’s full name is Ryan Wesson, and he’s still shit popular even though he’s not top notch anymore. Right. Conveniently, Nat’s gonna hire Wes to get her out.

Frozen: Chapter 6

Wes walks out, scolding himself for not taking those chips. So these chips did just magically disappeared? He goes back to his “team”, which also had a couple new recruits. But since the team doesn’t really work anymore ever since they got denied, why are they getting new recruits? Isn’t that just making Wes’s job harder of feeding them?

Anyway, the kids are 13. Because from Wes’s back story, it seems as though everyone just magically dies of cancer nowadays which means 13 years old are now also magically more mature and reliable and must be used for jobs?

I don’t understand. What in this world caused cancer to become so rampant that EVERYONE gets it sooner or later? Radiation? But if everyone has heat suits, why not also make them radiation proof? Also, if cancer is so rampant that it’s killing people off before they’re even fully grown, shouldn’t an attempt to find a cure become more urgent? Not to mention, it seems that the average lifespan is less than 50. But that’s still enough time for adults to work so that people don’t need to hire immature 13 year olds (who are immature because their brains haven’t fully developed yet for them to make proper mature decisions, not because they can’t be mature, a point the author seems to be missing).

Also, we have high tech heat suits and endless gambling, yet it bothers no one that you’ll just die of cancer helplessly one day? Where are all these rich people coming from? Money doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. How are people gambling if it seems like the only people working and have money are the people working at the casinos?

How has this society not self-imploded yet?

These new recruits are rejects from the army, booted before they’re of age to avoid paperwork. Except why the hell do you have kids younger than 13 making up your army? Do you know how retarded that is? What the hell are they going to help you with? Is this the same army that also taking over the world?

And then we find out that the whole cheater boy thing was a setup. The cheater boy was a distraction and then Wes was suppose to take to chips. Except for, for some reason, the top mercenary team leader, who has probably done plenty of outlaw crap considering it’s a MERCENARY team for casino wars (which I’m assuming are wars between casinos), refuses to break the law when we finally get a chance to see him in action.

Because, fuck, he’s the smexy main character, he can’t do things against the law because nonexistent integrity.

The boys are angry at him because now they can’t get food, but all Wes is thinking about it how Nat is hot as shit (surprise!), and how she could tell he was a fraud from the start like a badass. Except for, it wasn’t like Wes was such a good actor or anything. She was just figuring something out like a normal semi-intelligent person would, but she’s hot, so everything’s amplified.

Because of this, they come to the conclusion of leaving the city… because… ???

Then he wouldn’t have the luxury of turning down his assignments.

Bitch, if you hadn’t turned down that first job, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now, so shut up.

If you hadn’t failed in that last attempt in the casino, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

Wes. You are a useless chicken.

One of the kids, Shakes, gets a phone call and it turns out, he has a phone. BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE A PHONE IF YOU CAN’T EVEN AFFORD CLEAN WATER OR FOOD? WTF IS WITH THIS LOGIC?

Shakes grinned. “Looks like we got us a job. Some chick’s looking to hire a runner and they hear she’s got credits to burn.”

Subtle.

Frozen: Chapter 5

Nat goes ahead and asks Manny, her pit boss, if he knew of somewhere to get a ship. Except, are you driving the ship all by yourself? Or are you just looking to hitch a ride somewhere?

Manny tells her it’s stupid to leave New Vegas because it’s be best place around and then the author proceeds to info dump about how the RSA has basically taken over the entire world. Except a small part of China.

WTF? I thought they were called the REMAINING states because only part of the country was left. This… the country’s basally taken over the world.

Visas are shit expensive, but no one really would ever need one since Vegas is so nice. Plus, travel is also shit dangerous. Nat insists, thinking about how everyone laughs at her for asking ridiculous questions. Typical.

“No, baby. Not gonna happen, don’t want to see you shot in the head, floating in that black water. There’s pirates — scavengers — out there, too, don’t you know? Taking slaves, selling ‘em to the outlaw territories.”

Except for, since no one ever travels, what the fuck do the pirates ACTUALLY live off of? Also, since they’re taking slaves, why would Nat be shot in the head when she could be a slave? Nat shrugs it off and goes to work, dealing cards again.

And then. -drumroll- WES APPEARS! And Nat almost swoons at his good looks. -barfs-

Wes is acting all cool badass I’m going to protect Miss Little Mary like, but Nat turns him down and then…. for some reason, they’re flirting? They’re just two random strangers, Nat understands that he might be a total womanizer, but still agrees to a drink of water anyways because… reasons.

And apparently clean water is shit as hell hard to get even though there’s fucking snowing everywhere. Nat thinks about how the boy can’t even afford water. If you can’t even afford water, how da fuck are you even still alive? The answer: synthetic vitamin drinks. BUT ALL DRINKS ARE BASED WITH WATER, SO IF YOU HAVE A SHORTAGE OF WATER, YOU’LL HAVE A SHORTAGE OF EVERYTHING. WITHOUT CLEAN WATER HOW THAT HELL ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THOSE VITAMIN DRINKS? WHAT, THEY’RE GONNA DRINKING OIL NOW?

So the game she’s dealing for continues and she ends up figuring that the boy she’s dealing to is a cheat because the house always wins.

But, you got this all wrong. If everyone lost all the time, no one would go to casinos anymore, because everyone would know that you’ll always loose. The point is that casinos give you the false impression that you’re winning with a series of small wins, but oftentimes, will be displaced by a huge loss, with which, you’ll want to win back. And then attempt to continue profiting. The continuous cycle eventually brings the player into huge debt and the house gains money.

Maybe this guy did cheat because the amount he’s winning is such a large ridiculous amount that could never be won, but then the logical reason for it isn’t that the house always wins.

So the boy points a gun at her, which is ridiculous because that just gives you away immediately. Wes comes conveniently to the rescue, knocking the boy down and also fishing out his winnings from this pocket?

Either way, there’s 4 platinum chips, which is enough got Nat to get a ship to leave. Except, the chips just decide to just disappear without explanation and Wes most obviously doesn’t take them, so end of that I guess.

Wes leaves. They still don’t know each other’s names. 

Frozen: Chapter 3 & 4

We return back to Nat, who arrives to work another day at the casino.

It had never even closed, not for a day, not for an hour; management didn’t care that there was a hole in the roof as long as the slot machines kept ringing.

Except for that hole in your roof is going to knock up the electric bill at the end of the month by a fuckload if you still plan on maintaining normal room temperature within the building. So, maybe you should do something about it other than string heaters over it.

Nat goes and greets, Old Joe (that name – I can’t take it seriously), who is fat, super good at cards and OMG LIVED PAST 50! I feel like that’s supposed to send a shiver down my spine, but all I’m thinking is why has the lifespan decreased to so low? Is it because it’s constantly freezing outside? But…. what does that have to do with lifespan? It’s not like everyone’s in rags and getting frostbite.

But as usual the book goes “fuck you” and moves on without an explanation.

The creepy voice in Nat’s head is back again, spewing gibberish about stones and maps. It wants her to ask Joe about something. So she does. And Joe says it’s a map.

And then the voice in her head freaks out and tells Nat to steal the stone and kill Joe. She doesn’t kill Joe, but…………………………………..

“Give it to me,” she whispered, and somehow she knew he would do as told.

Joe flinched as if she’d hurt him. “Keep it,” he said finally, and walked away from her quickly.

I’m confused. Did Joe get creeped out by Nat’s whisper and was trying to get away as fast as possible or is Nat using her unknown mind manipulating abilities? Because she is supposedly one of those “marked ones” who can do mind shit.

This is poor execution on the author’s part.

That evening, Joe gets arrested because ??? and Nat comes to the conclusion that since they found Joe, they’ll find her because….. ???

But she already passed those eye scans. She literally has been out in the open the whole time and no one has done ANYTHING. Joe doesn’t even know who she is. How are they going to connect Joe to her?

1. Arrest Joe

2. ???

3. Arrest Nat

She watches Joe get straitjacketed (why the fuck are they straitjacketing a fat old man?) and takes forever to come to the conclusion that she should run because that’s totally not the first instinct people get when they think they’re about to get arrested.

Next chapter, we switch back to Wes again. Like every other badass character, he has to have that horrible traumatic past. Both his parents die of cancer, but even worse, his little sister dies even earlier, but you aren’t told how because suspense.

Fuck you book. You can’t just kill people off because diseases and do you know how offensive that is to people with cancer to just push characters to their death because “lol cancer, no big deal”?

Oh, and his parents are gorgeous, which is why he’s gorgeous.

He’s just left the restaurant, and he’s pissed at everything. He’s pissed that he turned down the job offer. THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TURN IT DOWN? He’s pissed that he has to starve. He’s pissed that “the boys” would have to starve. THEN TAKE THE FUCKING JOB YOU DUMBSHIT!

He thinks back to his parents, especially his mother.

She had hid her disease from them, beneath the makeup. She had worked until the end, and one day, had doubled over, vomiting blood backstage. Dead in a matter of days.

FUCK YOU. I HATE YOU BOOK FOR YOUR RIDICULOUSLY INCORRECT VIEW OF CANCER AND PUSHING IT OFF AS DISEASE THAT PEOPLE CAN JUST GO WALKING AROUND WITH LIKES IT’S NOTHING. YOU CANNOT FUCKING COVER A TUMOR THAT IS GROWING OUT OF YOUR BODY WITH MAKEUP BECAUSE A TUMOR IS NOT A BLEMISH ON YOUR SKIN, IT IS A HUGE OUTGROWTH. PEOPLE ARE HOSPITALIZED NOT JUST TO FIGHT CANCER BUT ALSO BECAUSE CANCER IS GODDAMN PAINFUL. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

The dad dies of cancer as well at age 29.

Because he can’t get money, Wes stops by “the death races” to get some. Basically, you race shitty cars around and if the cars implode then sucks for you.

There is one whole page of meaningless car racing and not surprisingly, Wes gets in first place. Bummer. He grabs his money and leaves thinking back to refusing to torch the place even though that seems like the simplest job a TOP NOTCH mercenary team could do.

He also contemplates on gambling.

Right. Because you can totally profit there.

Frozen: Chapter 2

We are introduced to our other main character Wes, who will, looking at how the book is going to far, probably be the male love interest. Oh and look at that, he’s 16! Surprise!

Oh, and he’s also the sandy hair, warm brown eyes and hot but angsty teen! OMG! HE’S SMIRKING! OMG HE HAS MUSCLES! OMFG HE’S WEARING TORN JEANS!

-sarcastic swoon-

He’s hungry and somewhat upset that he won’t get a meal because he turned down that job that was offered to him that included a meal with it. Why’d you turn down the job then? For shits and giggles?

There were white tablecloths and real silverware.

Oh, so we can’t have yellow tablecloth or blue tablecloth. And tell, me. What ensues as REAL silverware? Are we getting like…. mutant forks and spoons instead in most places? Knives that cut with the handle and are held at the blade? Or do you just have a problem with plastic spoons bitch?

We find out that time has moved forward by 1 week and the bombed casino still has it’s guts spilling out. The only thing they’ve done is add heaters to the hole to block out the eternal cold.

Wait. If getting fucking bombed is a common thing, wouldn’t you think that the place would have been fixed already? Also, there has been no reason whatsoever about why the hell bombs just get randomly dropped into a thriving city at random intervals and people aren’t fleeing the city in fear and instead are going on and about their daily lives as if waking up the next morning possibly dead isn’t a big deal.

This world building. I just can’t.

And then……….. it turns out they’re sitting at a restaurant/bar the whole time and guy offering Wes the job goes ahead and orders beef as to probably flaunt his money and status because in a world where everything’s freezing, the only meat that’s abundant is fish. Beef is extraordinarily expensive and rare and all cows are raised in temperature controlled stables.

1. Why don’t you just order your own goddamn food?

2. IF THERE ARE NO COWS, THEN WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY GETTING THEIR VEGGIES? COWS CAN SURVIVE LOWER TEMPERATURES THAN PLANTS. WITHOUT VEGGIES EVERYONE IS SURE AS FUCK DEAD. ALSO YOU’LL GET MAJOR ASS CONSTIPATION IF YOU ONLY EAT MEAT. THERE ARE ONLY VEGETARIANS FOR A REASON.

Also, cows can survive 40 below temperatures, so the whole temperature controlled stables is just a waste of energy. It’s obvious here that the author did not do her research because a simple Google of “Can cows live in cold weather?” gives you this as the FIRST RESULT.

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As the conversation continues, we’re told that Wes is OMFG BADASS! because he was the leader (at 16) of the best mercenary team in the city until he refused to torch a hotel, which sounds like a rather trivial thing to do compared to the other things he’s probably been asked to do. Of course, you don’t know because other than refusing to torch the hotel and refusing this job (kidnapping a CEO) nothing’s been told of any of the other “badass” things he had to do.

Mr. I-Get-To-Eat-Beef guy tries to convince Wes with the old “you need money and this job is nothing” trick and Wes refutes with “guilty conscience”. Except for, when your Mr. Badass Mercenary Dude who’s so good your famous as 16, guilty conscience shoulda long been a problem of the past.

Oh and we finally get an explanation for the bomb but not for why people aren’t fleeing the city. “Marked factions”, which I’m assuming is referring to marked people like Nat, bombed the casino which is why Beef Dude is asking Wes to do this job. And that has to do ??? with kidnapping a CEO.

And then the author does a massive info dump about the races of people in this world. Basically, marked people (like Nat) can read minds and shit. There are “smallmen”, aka DWARFS, YOU FUCKER. There were these things called slyphs who are gorgeous blonds with beautiful singing voices and draus, who are supposedly evil albino slyphs who can kill with their minds.

Returning to the scene, there’s even more padding and Wes is starting to get second thoughts, because why not? He finds out it’s not kidnapping it’s killing and Mr. Badass goes “Oh no you didn’t!”

He’d done a lot to survive, but he wasn’t a paid killer.

So, never, has the top mercenary team killed a single human? That. Is. Unbelievable.

Mr. Beef Guy waits for an answer and we find out, via info dump that the USA is now the RSA, Remaining States of America. Even though it’s also constantly expanding via military victories… so… uh… yeah?

You find that Mr. Badass wants to actually be a sculptor, because it’s SO ROMANTIC. He gets food anyways because Mr. Beef Dude orders some for him and muses over how authentic and amazing it is compared to pizza and canned food. Uh, dur, what’d you expect?

But he won’t take the job, so “lol, jk, I’d rather waste food that shouldn’t be wasted than kill someone because somehow I still have integrity.” which is complete bullshit considering he’s the top mercenary team leader.

At this point, the author is just trying to plop likable characteristics onto a “badass” character that completely contradict with what the character does.

Bradley (Mr. Beef Guy) leaves angrily and tells him to get use to starving.

Frozen: Chapter 1

We start in a typical Las Vegas casino – sparkly, drunk and lots of gambling. We’re introduced to Nat, who doesn’t have a name until impulse told her that her name was Nat because “it seemed to fit”.

Right. Next thing you know, we’ll have kids calling themselves “cheese” because it “feels right”.

She’s magically (and conveniently) good at numbers and cards, which gets her a job in a casino. In Las Vegas. So far, our character has not had a very hard time with anything has she? And then, we’re told that this Nat is the same girl who flew out of that window in the prologue. Which just proved the whole ITALICS AND OMINOUS!!!!!! SCARYY!!!!! thing invalid once again.

You know what? There really was no point in that prologue.

The whole point of a prologue is to convey an idea or concept that either can’t be easily conveyed within the story or should be known by the reader before the characters do. Usually, the prologue is not connected to the first chapter at all, and even if it is, there’s usually a major PoV switch or something similar. Why? Because the prologue is suppose to be separate. In this case, we have a prologue that has 1. no major time skip, 2. no PoV switch, 3. no information that the characters can’t know.

Just, you know, fucking fire and pain. 

In any case, Nat has a flashback to that night. She lands in the snow, manages to disarm all the guards around her and steals a heat jacket from one of them. All without any trouble. There’s not even a mention of getting bruised. And then she gets… contact lenses to hide her weird golden pupil eyes.

You know, you can hide your irises maybe, but those pupils are going to give you away.

Okay. Am I the only one who finds this whole thing a little too easy? No wanted posters? Masses of guards streaming out of the building to go search for her? No helicopters with searchlights pruning the city? They’re just going to be like “lol, monster on the run, let’s go smoke pot instead”?

Oh, and she also gets nightmares about fucking fire and pain. Not that we don’t already know that.

But back to present now.

There’s a fifteen year old bride who she’s dealing cards to, which either means society is really messed up or this is one of those lame books where everyone is a teen because adults don’t exist outside of guards and evil people. I like the second one better.

All of a sudden there’s an explosion and it manages to kill everyone at her table, but her because magical physics. It’s too early in the book to make this conclusion, but Nat is really starting to feel like a Mary Sue. Chaos ensues and you notice one of the guys get arrested for having blue eyes because “his lenses must have slipped off or he’d taken them off when they burned from the smoke”.

Except for fuck you book because CONTACT LENSES DON’T JUST FALL OUT OF PEOPLE’S EYES DO YOU UNDERSTAND? THAT WOULD DEFEAT THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF CONTACT LENSES BECAUSE IF THEY JUST PLOPPED OUT OF PEOPLE’S EYES NO ONE WOULD USE THEM. Also, who the hell has the energy to take off contact lenses moments after a bomb detonates right beside them? Like, he might be dangerously rubbing his eyes, but WHO WOULD EVER BE LIKE “LOL TAKIN’ OFF MY LIFE SAVING LENSES WHEN THEY’RE ACTUALLY USEFUL”.

The guard people go ahead and eye scan everyone and the system is so easy to bypass and getting a fake ID seems so easy I wonder how many other “monsters” are also hiding within this “horrible” world and also why Nat was so hesitant of escaping earlier. The officer is, of course for some strange reason, 16. Except for, he talks like a 34 year old. SO WHY DA FUCK ISN’T HE 34? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE 16?

Nat get’s off easy, playing chill with the officer. She’s got everything, fake ID, lenses, fake papers. Everything. And it’s all mentioned in that offhand way which makes getting fake papers sound as easy as stopping by a supermarket to grab a bundle of asparagus.

Girl, where the fuck did you get all that money from? DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE FAKE IDS ARE? Also, weren’t you locked up in a jail half the time? Where did you learn about fake IDs from? HOW DID YOU FIND OUT WHERE TO GO TO GET FAKE IDS? This isn’t just a random pit stop at the local dollar store. Just. No.

Either the black market in this world is rampantly huge yet magically unnoticed by the super uptight government or she’s just magical.

Anyways, that bring chapter 1 to an end.